There’s no party in these pants

They’ve gone and done it! Honestly, I swear! A new map showing the size of penises across Europe popped up on my newsfeed two days ago. So then, does this one make up for the last one? Forget it, my poor things. It’s worse. This time, there doesn’t even seem to be any scientific research behind the long, meticulous journey, going from penis to penis with a decimal ruler.

Even if we were to assume that these results were valid, the question still remains of how they went about it. Were these men left jerking their gherkins in peace whilst they had full-on erections? Did the scientist in charge of the measurement take it upon themselves to ensure that the data was collected? Hmm, I’ll tell you what I think my friends, all that’s just a load of bullshit.

So, staying on the theme of men this evening, let’s take a look at the other part of these gentlemens’ genital package: the testicles.

For several years, scientists have already been recommending men not to work with a computer on their lap, as the heat can cause a risk of infertility. In fact, using a computer for 30 minutes can cause an increase in temperature of 2.5°C and can therefore lead to scrotal hyperthermia (overheating of the scrotum which can’t be put down to the girl-next-door’s cleavage but to the use of said computer) However, a new study published in The Fertility and Sterility Journal by Conrado Avendano and his team suggests that Wi-Fi could well be more damaging to sperm than heat. Actually, electromagnetic waves emitted and received by the device (the computer, not the bloke’s package, keep up!) could cause immobility and genetic damage to sperm cells. In their experience, 25% of sperm cells placed under a Wi-Fi emitting computer for 4 hours stopped moving, and 9% experienced changes in genetic code (compared to 14 and 3% without Wi-Fi). Scientists are still apprehensive and are awaiting further investigation; results such as this remain unpublished at the moment.

The moral of this evening’s post: let your balls air lads, and if needs be get some help from the girl-next-door. She could even measure your member to make a proper map while she’s at it. Maybe I’ll put myself forward to collect the results!!

references : for the truthful map, let’s thank Buzzfeed. The article about wifi and testicle is on